The Human Connection is indefeasible, and only can be suppressed as well as brought up. We have all felt what it is like to have a connection with other human beings. Why does this connection make us feel so in sync with the other person and the world? It is one of the most important needs for humans. It fits into each one of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs Pyramid, besides the physiological needs. However, that's not to say that physiological needs can't play a part in human connection. Have you ever felt full after a deep conversation or have trouble connecting with people when hungry? I will explain how the human connection fits into Maslow’s Pyramid.
The energy and spark of connecting can create a feeling of fullness. It also gives us a feeling of safety. When we connect with someone, we feel more comfortable with that person, allowing us to feel safer with them. The homey feeling when we recognize one another as if we are in the same family or tribe, being able to relate to one another, and to be on the same page. There is a deeper understanding of what it means to be a human being. Martin Luther King said it best, “We are all brothers and sisters.” When connecting on a higher level over the foundation that is the physiological realm, we step closer to the top of the pyramid.
Creating that connection to feel safe, leads to a sense of belonging and being loved. This is the next level, but is not attainable without feeling safe. Feeling safe leads to friendship, family and sexual intimacy according to the Pyramid. We all have that inner desire to be loved and have a sense of belonging. Since the beginning of mankind we’ve been working in groups and creating systems, creating a working family. Everyone is dependent on one another to keep the group alive. It is a part of human nature to want to work together.
In order to be dependent on others, one must have independence. To give and receive human connection one must be able to hold their own with esteem. One must be confident in what they do and have felt accomplished. If there isn’t a sense of pride of who they are, then one cannot feel good. This person will have feelings of being lesser. It is hard to have a connection with someone who is hesitant and pulls away. Self-esteem reinforces who we are.
When we are confident in our actions, then we can reach the highest point of the pyramid, self-actualization. The best thing one can do for anyone, is to take care of oneself. When we are honest with ourselves in who we are and what our potential may be, then we can speak in confidence on who we are to others. When we do this we create even deeper human connections, which can be so raw and honest. This goes back to being whole and complete.
The Human Connection can also be looked at in a more philosophical view. In Ayn Rand’s book The Fountainhead, she explains why Peter Keating- an architect- destroyed his work. He was paid to create a piece. He finished his piece, but his employers wanted to add more to his piece, without him. They hired two additional architects to add onto the piece, without Peter’s permission. When Peter saw what they had done to his piece without his permission or knowledge he felt betrayed, so he dynamited the whole thing. They went to court over the situation and Peter’s stance was on the fact that it was not morale. “It is not morale for me to be asked to create something with my heart, soul, blood, sweat and tears, only then to be altered. If this is what I created with a certain vision and perspective in mind, then two more people come to add on to it not knowing what my vision was; why have me do it?”
His construct of connecting to others was through his masterpiece. If he couldn’t connect with others through his art, he argues he might as well just put a bunch of random things together and called that art. In Mihaly Czikszentmihalyi book Creativity, he states that creative persons connect to others, through their art. In alignment with Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs Pyramid, Maslow talked about the self-actualized persons being highly creative people. Other psychologists like Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung have directed toward human connection to instill meaning in ones life. As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light of meaning in the darkness of mere being,” said Jung. Even in other areas such as spirituality, the Dalai Lama has said that compassion is the root for human connection.
When we are able to connect with others that don’t look like us, smell like us, dress like us, eat like us, and whatever else, then we can have a human connection. It's about connecting much deeper than the material world. If you are having an existential crisis after reading this article, just remember Joe Rogan's quote, "If you ever start taking things too seriously, just remember that we are talking monkeys on an organic spaceship flying through the universe."
There are people from all over, with all sorts of different tastes in music, which bring a range of: age, beliefs and even looks. Today, many people are starting to look inwards for self guidance, rather than be shaped and molded by a man made illusion. Take a moment to ask yourself, what does it mean to be "human"? Now take that answer and bring it with to your workplace, school and the next music festival!
The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand
Creativity by Mihaly Czikszentmihaly